You are currently browsing the daily archive for January 4th, 2008.
give me wings so that i might fly away from this organized doom. take me into an actual civilizaion, without drunken complications. subtract my trouble, rid me of shallow life and purpose to me a great journey like the story tellers mystify audiences with. an oppertunity. lets run away like they say. sneakily lets be smitten. in the night well get lost forgetting all dreadfull notions of this and that. Between Divine Madness and Living Toxicaly well confess. Then forgetting our lonleyness. Restoring promised mischieff, becoming alive. A world taking in unproductive creatures realized chaos &&& abandond us. so riding the downward slope repeatadily dreadfully changing into ancient. meaningful words lost onto your shunning ears. Mistaken thoughts of fullfillment efficently dragged me out of practicality. grinning at incomprhensiable blab that slumbers from dry lips. trapped in hesitation, lose yourself from my sight. this combat has just begun
lost in between distant beats of any song, the passion involved distracts all thoughts of that which reality. darkening eyes with black sticks, hoping the stero type of it will hide the truth that wishes to stay in the corner. sheer facts denying sanity. lose me form realtes to. words jumbled up inside of a mind unknown to surrounding, attemts at escaping in a way to relieve actuality. this house sits unfisnished, burned down years before, repairs needed gradually ignored, used before its ready. scared to go on, afarid of standing still. confusion darkens happenings. facts wanting.
life is the absence of death
death is the ending
&& every ending is a new beginning
to many ways to describe the way things are
overstock of ideas bustling their way in
this moment is all you have
any second could be your last
if you dont take advantage of what you giving
then you have nothing
but what is something when you no longer have it?
death is a lack of life
with nothing to live for
would you call that death>
or
with nothing to lose
could you name it power
the choice of sacrifice is what you chose to live with
for what you want
suppression leads to obsession
you can only be limited a certain amount
only what you decides is worth saving will make it out
is what defines your soul
the greater good is a smaller evil
but non the less remains what it is in essence.
call something by whatever name you choose to
the effect on said object is nothing but a whisper
there will always be a replacement for what is needed or loved
but nothing will be the same as this moment in time
no matter how similar it may seem
appearance is vital in presentation
presentation is what counts
dont wait for change
be it 1:47 AM – 0 Comments – 0 Kud
while the leaves are falling
in the cold of the nights
out back behind the front
steep porch stairs
empty city streets
warm wet rain
with you by my side
the mysterys we find
the jokes told
the awkward glances
silent moments scaring away stray talks
icey air racing by
footsteps pattering away
reddining cheeks
awkward laughs
bumping elbows
slightly grining
a catch
&&&
my fingers laced between yours
there was this girl.who kinda fell for this boy.
at first it seemed like all odds were against it.
but this boy showed this girl
something better than odds
silly odds how could they not know they could be so wrong?
then somehow after this short golden period
stupid shit came up
and more stupid shit
but you never really saw this stupid shit…
it just kinda brewed up bubbling slightly under the surface
everyonce in awhile one would pop into explosion
but things went on the way they were
because you really cant fight a good thing
its not fate, not even close, it cant be something that doesnt exist
somehow its gravity, it hurts to resist it.
but there was this weird feeling that loomed up
a shadow behind the girl
i know this will sound crazy, but it was just to good
there cant be something as simple as this with
everything needing a meaning whoha bullshit whatever
that hurts in a new way
one you would dig out your heart to get rid of
its so contaminating and contageous
but this girl didnt want to lose something that she didnt have that was right in front of her face
she knew it all along
somehow was blinded by desire
to ideas pulling her paper heart to find the weak points
eventually it started flip flopping
back and fourth
between this and that
an easy fix in a nonrealated problem
tempted its way into disaster
after that this girl knew that she was the one
she was the one who was fucking it up
every beat in her body dreamed of a way to fix these broken thoughts
a whisper in the middle of the night
a promice she made
never told
far to unbold
just awhile ago the lightning striked
testing the string wrapped arround said girls heart
and it shattered
just as if it never mattered
and her promice was broken
the only thing left to do is to walk away
because no matter how much you dig
youll never get to china that way.
iloveyou
ialwayswillloveyou
imsomutherfuckingsorryihadtofuckshitup
again
stripping all ideas away
running without thought
your watching yourself
and every sense is mulitplied over
a crack in the door is a new place
let mind never matter where it dwells
deep in the ocean
or above the clouds
wings come as notes
followed by explosion
a haze of beautiful chaos
rapptures itself arround you
casual blank
becomes forgotten
if it could last this way
this untouchable heaven
if it could stay
this dream of perfection
if i didnt need it
i need it
trouble is turned into a picture
the heat overtakes all
the sweet wormth
the kiss
on the cheek
the music escaping through voice
enforced by passion
reaches a peak
and the chains upon wrists are released
through drumming the blood
and a need is no longer
wings take over
as current rides by
are really the only way to go. well, if your going to do it yourself that is. although im betting the gunshot would probably be the easyest, pull a trigger as opposed to stabbing in an inward direction. no seriously. pills or poison might be unreliable, especially pills. then you end up in the hospital having some unpleasent procedure done which is just anti helpfull for your intentions. not to mention how long you have to actually sit in the hospital. honestly. if they really wanted to help you you wouldnt think that theyd make you sit there for elevan plus hours, all their doing is giving you time to mull over everything that made you end up there in the first place. are they trying to give you time to grow the balls back to have another go?
[this is not me trying to commit suicide btw. talking about it shouldnt be avoided though. random facts that have nothing to do with anything.]
its really easy for anyone to sit down and hate everything. finding the bad in stuff seems to be what people in general are good at. the creating our own is what catches us at a blind moment. ive been doing that for seventeen years now. the nocreating part. i mean sure ive had my who-ha whoopy moments, who hasnt. but im talking about creating something big and important at least for myself. ive done pretty much every rediculus stupid sterotypical “bad teen” move, and yet i consider myself one of the farthest from being a “bad teen” not to mention i dont have the cool status to truley fit the bill.
so, if your going to judge at least read the thought through. im not going to be one of politically corect people and state things as nicely as a sunflower, or cherry pie. ive got alot to say, and to come out honestly it wont be nice…well i guess my bitcheyness might add a little to that…buut we all have our corks. =]. dont be afariad of telling me what you think, i love hearing new ideas and points of views, but dont get pissed when i tell you mine as well.
stay true.
-illusion of a sinner-
