Is basically what Him and I have been reduced to. Just seconds ago the guy I can’t seem to get over walked out the back door. As always making up some excuse as to why he had to leave right this second. Believe me, honey, you don’t need the excuse.

The thing is between us we have no chemistry, we don’t have much in common, and we’re both two of the most awkward people to be around. Well on my part its just I try and blend in where ever I go taking lead form the other person…For his, not sure. I always need him when I think things are over.

I’m pretty sure it’s my insecure personality that is keeping me tied to him.

What it is he wants I’m just not sure, but my theory that looks the most likely is also the harshest, The sex. The easy sex. The fuck and leave. He tells me stories so deep down inside he doesn’t have to feel bad about it and can convince himself that it’s true and he’s not an ass whole.

The most fucked up thing about it all though. Is we’re both just fine with it now. Talk on the phone when he’s outta town everyday. Fuck like once a week when he’s in town.

Once I move though, I’ll cut off contact. Because otherwise this mind fucking that we’re doing on the side will kill. Kill what I’m not sure about.

I kinda feel like a terrible person. but some part of me just excepts it. It’s weird.

Like I said though. side note is i don’t get along with his friends so they think the worst of me, so that’s why he leaves, to ditch me to hang out with them. which is why i wont feel bad ditching him when i move for some cutie in seattle. But he come’s i try and get him interested in some intellectual thing he hates, we fuck, he munches a bite to eat, awkward conversation where i try and ignore him because i think his ideas are stupid he leaves. yup. It’s all good, all the time.