OK, So i just moved in with my best friends mom and her recently. Or rather my old high school best friend from two years ago. She just graduated and i would have had i stayed in school. I have moved around alot these past two years and been through alot. We have both changed, and i have stopped lying to myself. Now, im not sure what kind of change has taken place, or what the cause is, but i find hanging out with her and my old friends absolutely tedious work. I barley do anything all day, and yet at the end of the day i am tired extreamly mentally and physically. I am hopefully getting a job at the hotel where she works at as a maid, and my interview is tomorrow, and by the end of the summer we are hoping to move into a house for going to college in.

I am really jealous of her because she has a lot of stuff that i dont have, and has so many more oppertunitys than i do, and yet she is throwing them away like it’s nothing. She had to struggle to graduate when she has so much going for her, and i wish she could see this and live up to how much more awesome she could be, as apposed to settling for whatever because she is lazy, and has been babyd all her life.  I know she is really pissed off at me, and you know, i dont really care. I’m tired of always bowing down and settling for other peoples ideas or backing down in fear of hurting someones feelings, i like my idea for once, and im sticking to it. IM A BITCH GET OVER IT.

My problem is this: do i move in with her now, and maybe go through the trouble of moving out half way through school, or do i choose to back out and look for a place on my own. There is one Key Detail that i have left out until now, which is her moms bf is buying a place for us to move into.  Harsh. that is so tuf. i mean, they have been so supportive of me so far, and they do think im a bit dumb but like whatever, and i cant just throw all that away, and thats another thing, how am i supposed to ever repay them for helping me out? what says thank you as much as i mean it? i think sucking it up and getting through college does. so i guess i’ll stick it out, it’s not like i have to be best friends with the girl, or even friends, we can be roommates and get along just fine, i’ll never hate her, just think she’s making mistakes, which she has a right to just like everyone else. fuck, everyone knows i’ve made to many already. i guess it’s dumb of me to really be doubting all of this over one little argument. i still have my dignity and so does she.