Oh me oh my. i never really liked cherry pie.

Being back in the real world is a lot different than i thought it would be, although, that might have something to do with the fact that i think not lying to myself is ACTUALLY working. Not that it’s making anything easier or better right now, but im getting the things i want more. I’m not looking forward to the fact that tomorrow i actually have to get up early and go out and get another fast food job, just in case the job i applyed for at the hotel falls through. Since i’m looking for a job that im intending on keeping for awhile im being a bit pickeyer than i was the first time around i went job hunting. Because now i have a little -teney tiney – bit of experience under my belt and i know more of what i want.

UGH! another problem on the horizon. ok i lied, it’s not on the horizon it’s sitting in my living room drinking soda. This girl, whos about to be my room mate, i’ll call her alvin for name sake and not spilling details. you wanna know the story? ..good. Alright, this girl Alvin, i’ve known her since second grade. aka i know her about as well as i know myself. [and the fact that i dont know myself that well really has nothing to do with this i was merley referring to how one should know one's self is how i know alvin.] she’s not a pretty person physically or mentally, nothing about her is nice. she can make an awesome illusion of amazing-ness when she wants to sure, but her deep down self, i doubt has changed within the last two years i have seen her. however i’m not yet sure i can handle living with her. just her habits and dirtyness and lack of responsibility and so on. i told one of my other room mates to be and she FREAKED out. and now there is nothing  but drama drama drama on my door. Hell maybe i’ll get lucky and they wont want to be my roomie and then i wont have to. That is a ok with me. If they ask ME not to, i wont, i can find somewhere else easily. however i’m not going to go to the trouble of trying to kick one of them out, or removing myself because it is such a delicate situation. If need be i’ll sneak out right as the ball drops when it comes to signing the lease, and squiggle my way out of it.

On top of that, i really want to find some people who i can relate to, and be friends with. So, i really want to focus on finding real friends who aren’t going to talk shit about me beind my back it’s just i have no idea where to look. I’ll just do what i love doing and hope to find someone awesome along the way? i guess thats a good way to go. then at least we’ll have something in common. Man it’s been so long since i’ve been around a variety of people, it’s weird, and i cant let the illusion brought up by seeing alot of faces every day cover the fact that at this moment in time i dont have and true honest to god i’ll be there when shit happens and back you up and be back up when needed friends. I just have to get myself motivated and excited enough to be more outgoing again. I’ve become so secluded. i wish at times like these i had someone to slap me across my face and tell me im being silly again. oh wait i do. well thats all for now, i’m gonna go make a call.thanks for reading to all my fans. haha jk bout that last part. PEACE.