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i’m giving you this umbrella and wishing you safety and love, but it is time we part ways. it has been a great journey.
i know what your thinking.
and if you are ever in need of a good song, but grow tired of fall out boy, i suggest Senses Fail, their best song and one i dedicate it to you, Calling All Cars.
hopefully, we at least had a few good laughs. it’s time however, to go back to real life.
-my last loves going out-NOW- hope ya caught em. peace.
Side Note: i know what your thinking, “i just shit my pants!!!” dood that sucks, good luck cleaning that out. Good bye my good friend, i will remember these times as pleasant ones, where sleep was foreign and laughs were often. Savor these last words of mine, until i become famous and you can hear my words whenever you choose. Im so sorry it had to end this way, this terrible way…but get over it. =/. =p. lol, i know you will.
final score.
INIDANS : WON!!!! [duh, because were awesome]
GLASSES : ZERO!!!! [because i will always win, biotch]
In the past few months I have had no schedules of any kind, and not much in the way of anything to do. As I am 17, live in a small town far outside of life, and can’t get a job because no one will hire me-based off a bad rep. I’m just waiting until my folks can get their shit together [which will be soon] and I can find some way of supporting myself.
The point is, I’m bored. All the time now, even when I’m having fun, it just not as jazzy. There is a constant drone going on just over my head. I’ve lost friends because of it, and have toned my life down to couch potatoe watching little kid movies.
Then, I went on thinking, ya know, maybe I’ve been bored all my life. maybe. I think it’s everyones conformist attitude about life. Everyone thinks what they want, and that everyone else should be like that too. For most people, for the flashy high class rollers, which is what stands out the most, it’s all about looks. It’s all about presentation, so make-up, clothes and shoes are all I “should” be interested in, and then most likely having a presentation career and settling down to have a family. Most of this shit, just doesn’t interest me. I mean, ok, it’s fun in a way, but it gets old real quick.
I’m not interested in giving up, or becoming a bum or anything like that, i mean i do have self respect, but its just, i want to at the end of my days know that there was something to going through all the bull shit. something where i can just say, yup. thats it. right there. i need something to make the bull shit worth it.
I know what it is and i know its kinda right, not “it” but a saying, to be a discoverer you don’t need new landscapes to set your eyes upon, but new eyes to set upon each sight. [unknown] and i honestly think that might have something to it. because i know if i had something great, then that would make up for everything else.
I’m not to sure what I’m supposed to do now. I mean I know. I’m just tired of waiting for the future to get here. I’m tired of being so lonely and feeling terrible inside. I’m tired of people blaming everything on me. It’s not me, its you.
I hate all this waiting. I’m trapped. But there’s not a damn thing i can do about it. I mean sure i could run away, but i don’t feel like becoming a fugitive. I don’t want a life like that. I could never be happy with myself if I took that road. So here I sit. Waiting again. Patience. Goooooooooooood. well. That’s it for me, just dissatisfied.
