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i’m giving you this umbrella and wishing you safety and love, but it is time we part ways. it has been a great journey.
i know what your thinking.
and if you are ever in need of a good song, but grow tired of fall out boy, i suggest Senses Fail, their best song and one i dedicate it to you, Calling All Cars.
hopefully, we at least had a few good laughs. it’s time however, to go back to real life.
-my last loves going out-NOW- hope ya caught em. peace.
Side Note: i know what your thinking, “i just shit my pants!!!” dood that sucks, good luck cleaning that out. Good bye my good friend, i will remember these times as pleasant ones, where sleep was foreign and laughs were often. Savor these last words of mine, until i become famous and you can hear my words whenever you choose. Im so sorry it had to end this way, this terrible way…but get over it. =/. =p. lol, i know you will.
final score.
INIDANS : WON!!!! [duh, because were awesome]
GLASSES : ZERO!!!! [because i will always win, biotch]
Even the words as i write this hesitate before entering the world.
Now it seems i have two different planets side by side that speak two different languages, and i alone am set to the task of making them reconnect.
The first one is planet earth, with all its people,glory, shame, ideas, and pictures upon it. It is the realm of constant-ly changing into the same.
The second is the one i have somehow created it is my ideas, thoughts, needs & wants. It is very opinionated and can be hard to persuade.
As i sit on my porch stairs i watch as a small glimpse of daily life travels by me. I sit and question the reasoning for what used to be part of my own daily procedure.
I’m trying to imagine myself back in that world, and as looking at a puzzles edges of how the individual pieces fit together you see that they all match up perfectly, but by color and design you can see that this piece does not belong there. Even when you zoom out and the picture is more diverse it still seems a bit off key.
The second planet is one strange and foreign, at least to anyone else reading this. On this foreign plant you should know that during the day the stars shine by way of eyes, and at night the sun does not go down, a symbol of peace and hope.
At times it is known that the two worlds will never coexist peacefully side by side, this is a fierce sign of chaos: when chairs are upturned and suspicion roams the lands below. every noise is a reason to jump, in fright, and every word a new plot for destruction These times are the troubled ones in which i now live. I alone am here to with stand the pain, help where it is needed and endure all great hardships. I am the one who must clam the tides of uncertainty and restore freedom.
Just sometimes it’s all you have in a day. I don’t feel like writing, everything feels wrong at the moment. outside looks so inviting. But only when Day Dreaming. *sigh* just another day, without much in the way of anything. Nothing to look forward to, nothing to dread. Empty and bleak. with no mis teak.
life is change. sometimes you have to let go.
every moment is a new beginning, the wings of a butterfly guided by wind, one can hope, and only hope not to be dragged off to the wasted field. but that my good friend is why you have the strength, the muscles to fly off into a better place.
i want to create, something better, something without dark thoughts. a pure intention of happiness. i want to let go of my earthly appetites of living in the moment. i dont want to be controlled by desire or passion.
i need love. my heart aches, and keeps on aching, even when i have the idea. can it be trusted.
don’t let your thoughts be dragged down, please keep your head above the surface of the water. i don’t want to be those last bubbles of life floating in an upward direction towards the surface. the sea is an open area of freedom, yet if your ship crashes and sinks you must rely on skills of pure survival and chance. be my chance and not my lost island.
im scared, i cant lie, i cant hide it. i tense up and feel my body dragging me down. please dont let me drowned unheard, unseen for days. the blazed sun burning my scorched face, the water below torching my frozen skin.
let hope rescue me. let wings grow. dont forget that there will be a tomorrow. that there will be a next month, that there will be an exit, if you have the patience and survival skills to make it out alive.
after a bottle of pills. after a day in the hospital, moments later you know you want this life. yet why still tickles conscious minds. i dont want death though i dont know why. i was scared laying all day in a room empty except for bandages, clean beyond reasoning. naked under a skimpy hospital robe. i knew i wanted life. but i dont know why. all i can assume is there must be something im waiting for. why do i need that which pains me daily?
a few inspirational experienced writings and sayings give me hope, so i dont give up, but the moment doesn’t last, and yet here i sit wondering again.
one minuet wanting to help other’s out of their dis-pare, the next wondering if i can over come my own. i think of you and just wish to glue you to the back of luck, so you’ll never run amok. then remember this poison inside my own heart. this full of nothing feeling. scared it will spread. i need something.
i need something.
i put my pen to paper, yet only scribbles are released. I’ve lost all, and here i sit with nothing to do but stare an empty thought in the eyes. deep like a puddle turned into a lake, dark like its been thundering for years. so full and yet so shallow.
i have to go on. so on i trudge, regretting every second of it. don’t live for regrets they say. dont let the dark side win. dont give in. yet when i smile tears still come. and sleep never does.
i stay up until my body collapses itself. i cant get in a content moment. i cant let a happy thought continue. how could it be so easy.
you can do it. i tell myself in the middle of the night. a sad smile no one else ever sees. let me go on. have someone see something more than me.
all i want is love. true love. away from all this.
an escape. my feet imagine donning the shoes and becoming unglued from that which makes me stay. i cant leave them behind, i cant do that to them. but instead i hurt myself. i want to get away. i want fly away. let my wings form and empty me of this bloodied battlefield.
i can do it. i can. i can. i cant do it. i can.
life is the absence of death
death is the ending
&& every ending is a new beginning
to many ways to describe the way things are
overstock of ideas bustling their way in
this moment is all you have
any second could be your last
if you dont take advantage of what you giving
then you have nothing
but what is something when you no longer have it?
death is a lack of life
with nothing to live for
would you call that death>
or
with nothing to lose
could you name it power
the choice of sacrifice is what you chose to live with
for what you want
suppression leads to obsession
you can only be limited a certain amount
only what you decides is worth saving will make it out
is what defines your soul
the greater good is a smaller evil
but non the less remains what it is in essence.
call something by whatever name you choose to
the effect on said object is nothing but a whisper
there will always be a replacement for what is needed or loved
but nothing will be the same as this moment in time
no matter how similar it may seem
appearance is vital in presentation
presentation is what counts
dont wait for change
be it 1:47 AM – 0 Comments – 0 Kud
