Shaking fingers upon the strings of life

As you pause and step outside of your life look around, and see all the people walking in their bubbles, living in their own world and version of what they deem to be this world. In side this one world are many smaller ones, and what they all add up to is what you see before you. All the colors, shades, lights, and angles add up to your version of life. To what you call living.

Imagine all the different worlds that lay right next to you. They seep in and effect your own.

Then go and take away the idea of why you wake up in the morning, of what your here to do, of what path your going down, forget everything you used to love doing because you cant do it anymore.  Everything you once knew is gone and you are thrown into a world with out prior knowledge.  What do you do?

This is where i sit, and im having a hard time finding it, it being what im supposed to do. Im scared to take any steps farther but fear more being left behind to rot in the dust.

According to statistics i will die before age 27, the life i have led. the things that have happened in my world and the choices i have made.

Man fuck statistics, i’ll die when i damn well feel like it, and not a day sooner. I guess now it’s just up to me to create a new world, this is just my hesitant step as i slow down before passing the door frame by.

If bullet can climb roofs then i can totally do this.

i’m giving you this umbrella and wishing you safety and love, but it is time we part ways. it has been a great journey.

i know what your thinking.

and if you are ever in need of a good song, but grow tired of fall out boy, i suggest Senses Fail, their best song and one i dedicate it to you, Calling All Cars.

hopefully, we at least had a few good laughs. it’s time however, to go back to real life.

-my last loves going out-NOW- hope ya caught em. peace.

Side Note: i know what your thinking, “i just shit my pants!!!” dood that sucks, good luck cleaning that out. Good bye my good friend, i will remember these times as pleasant ones, where sleep was foreign and laughs were often. Savor these last words of mine, until i become famous and you can hear my words whenever you choose. Im so sorry it had to end this way, this terrible way…but get over it. =/. =p. lol, i know you will. 

final score. 

INIDANS : WON!!!! [duh, because were awesome]

GLASSES : ZERO!!!! [because i will always win, biotch]

Confessions Of a Shelleymiester

things to keep in mind.

1. Procrastination is how i work..at anything..like ..[to be continued]

2. I wear dirty jeans when i run out of clean ones, or when the ones i really want to wear are dirty. Undies some time too. =[. hehe.

3. I shave my legs once in a great while, not ever other day like i should.

4. I DO care how i look, all the time, when i look good, i feel good.

5. I'm terrible at putting on makeup. and often look like Frankenstein's bride to be, yes i could give Mary Shelley's characters a run for their money.

6. Google and Dictionary.com are my number one most used resources when i dont know what someone is talking about.

7. At least 50% of what i talk about has to do with me. and yes, i am self centered.

8. Anything that makes me laugh i will like. when it comes to laughter i'm an addictee.

[i laugh at mean things]

9. I have the memory of a Gold fish, and i refer to all of my friends to “that one dood” for the first three weeks of hanging out.

10. I spy on the neighbors, and read magazines front to cover when i get them [which is why i dont]

11. I enjoy threatening to beat people up, even though i would lose any battle i got into, because im a wimp.

12. I’m slightly bipolar. i think. and i cant make a solid decision and follow through with it.

13. I also enjoy dancing in my pantys and singing in the shower. I cant play my guitar to save my life. && i forget half of my great ideas before i can put them down on paper.

14. I probably act like a mom alot, not sure, but probably.

15. I love odd n random things, but when you stop to think about it, im really not much of either, im just as predictable as anyone else. like, i freaking die for good kisses. and cry during sad movies. and not sad movies.

16. I’m a really big baby and act like a spoiled brat, but most of the time try and pass off as a really analytical knower of all. once i get set on a point of view i wont budge. i can’t even make myself budge.

17. I love all animals and might be considered a hippie, without the grose things like dread locks and taking showers once every month. but i dont like wearing shoes.

18. 11 is my lucky number, and i dont know how thats a confession but there we go.

Uncertainty

Even the words as i write this hesitate before entering the world.

Now it seems i have two different planets side by side that speak two different languages, and i alone am set to the task of making them reconnect.

The first one is planet earth, with all its people,glory, shame, ideas, and pictures upon it. It is the realm of constant-ly changing into the same.

The second is the one i have somehow created it is my ideas, thoughts, needs & wants. It is very opinionated and can be hard to persuade.

As i sit on my porch stairs i watch as a small glimpse of daily life travels by me. I sit and question the reasoning for what used to be part of my own daily procedure.

I’m trying to imagine myself back in that world, and as looking at a puzzles edges of how the individual pieces fit together you see that they all match up perfectly, but by color and design you can see that this piece does not belong there. Even when you zoom out and the picture is more diverse it still seems a bit off key.

The second planet is one strange and foreign, at least to anyone else reading this. On this foreign plant you should know that during the day the stars shine by way of eyes, and at night the sun does not go down, a symbol of peace and hope.

At times it is known that the two worlds will never coexist peacefully side by side, this is a fierce sign of chaos: when chairs are upturned and suspicion roams the lands below. every noise is a reason to jump, in fright, and every word a new plot for destruction These times are the troubled ones in which i now live. I alone am here to with stand the pain, help where it is needed and endure all great hardships. I am the one who must clam the tides of uncertainty and restore freedom.