i’m giving you this umbrella and wishing you safety and love, but it is time we part ways. it has been a great journey.

i know what your thinking.

and if you are ever in need of a good song, but grow tired of fall out boy, i suggest Senses Fail, their best song and one i dedicate it to you, Calling All Cars.

hopefully, we at least had a few good laughs. it’s time however, to go back to real life.

-my last loves going out-NOW- hope ya caught em. peace.

Side Note: i know what your thinking, “i just shit my pants!!!” dood that sucks, good luck cleaning that out. Good bye my good friend, i will remember these times as pleasant ones, where sleep was foreign and laughs were often. Savor these last words of mine, until i become famous and you can hear my words whenever you choose. Im so sorry it had to end this way, this terrible way…but get over it. =/. =p. lol, i know you will. 

final score. 

INIDANS : WON!!!! [duh, because were awesome]

GLASSES : ZERO!!!! [because i will always win, biotch]

Confessions Of a Shelleymiester

things to keep in mind.

1. Procrastination is how i work..at anything..like ..[to be continued]

2. I wear dirty jeans when i run out of clean ones, or when the ones i really want to wear are dirty. Undies some time too. =[. hehe.

3. I shave my legs once in a great while, not ever other day like i should.

4. I DO care how i look, all the time, when i look good, i feel good.

5. I'm terrible at putting on makeup. and often look like Frankenstein's bride to be, yes i could give Mary Shelley's characters a run for their money.

6. Google and Dictionary.com are my number one most used resources when i dont know what someone is talking about.

7. At least 50% of what i talk about has to do with me. and yes, i am self centered.

8. Anything that makes me laugh i will like. when it comes to laughter i'm an addictee.

[i laugh at mean things]

9. I have the memory of a Gold fish, and i refer to all of my friends to “that one dood” for the first three weeks of hanging out.

10. I spy on the neighbors, and read magazines front to cover when i get them [which is why i dont]

11. I enjoy threatening to beat people up, even though i would lose any battle i got into, because im a wimp.

12. I’m slightly bipolar. i think. and i cant make a solid decision and follow through with it.

13. I also enjoy dancing in my pantys and singing in the shower. I cant play my guitar to save my life. && i forget half of my great ideas before i can put them down on paper.

14. I probably act like a mom alot, not sure, but probably.

15. I love odd n random things, but when you stop to think about it, im really not much of either, im just as predictable as anyone else. like, i freaking die for good kisses. and cry during sad movies. and not sad movies.

16. I’m a really big baby and act like a spoiled brat, but most of the time try and pass off as a really analytical knower of all. once i get set on a point of view i wont budge. i can’t even make myself budge.

17. I love all animals and might be considered a hippie, without the grose things like dread locks and taking showers once every month. but i dont like wearing shoes.

18. 11 is my lucky number, and i dont know how thats a confession but there we go.

Not Quiet Free.

We all have our moments in the past where looking back the automatic reaction is just to wince, cringe and wish for a time eraser. Somtimes those types of moments can grow so big as to take up an entire year of our lives. And even take up space that you are currently trying to occupy on the time scale.

This happens when the reasoning for the events in question have deep roots, that need dug up. Right now the link on my ankle is almost set free, but i don’t yet have my wings. There are still a few things left i need to do. Recreating yourself is not exactly an easy thing to do. You just gotta keep on keepin on. I’m still nervous about this. i dont know why, it just sits there accusingly in the background.

Well hopefully now i can sleep. <3

“Not Fair”!!!!

Do you remember way back in the day when you were younger and you didn’t get your way “not fair” was what you used to throw around at your parents to try and persuade them into joining your marvelous ideas? Then as time went on you realized that barley anything was “fair” and you got so pissed off and went into teenage rebellious mode. If you do, then you may have something to relate to me, because i am just coming out of it, and trying not to get pissed and shoot peoples heads off.

I’d go into details but its all just stupid stuff like letting my sister get away with everything, seeing her dirty laundry all over my floor because we’re both on a laundry strike, i mean, i can handle mine, but her racing strip undies…ew. She just pierced her nose, and she has way more freedom than i did, ok wait, thats not true, she’s just way LAZIER than i was i that age, i mean the reason my room was always a mess was that i was never in it and there for saw no reason to keep it squeeky clean. Plus she talks alot of shit about me and then is nice to my face, it pisses me off, ok she’s nice when the rents’ are here, other than that its “i do what i want”. ok, so, i guess that, i was actually kinda the same, just different facts, but gah, it’s just so weird with her all like how i was not so long ago, and how i dont know who i am at the moment, and i’m tired of having to be her mom because mine isn’t here. she’s difficult and i have no back bone when it comes to arguing with her, she’s got way to much dirt on me. there’s really nothing i can do except watch the damn show. its just so, NOT FAIR!!!

ok, so i know i just said i wouldn’t go into details…but you know, i just got carried away.

 

Side Note

• My name is Shelley Michelle
• I am currently a loner [because of circumstances]
• I in general love people
• I am a happy by nature girl under to much stress
• weather or not you keep the “common area clean” has nothing to do with how polite a person is. not all polite people keep the “common area clean” completely.
• Could this world handle any more stupidity? please do not associate my lazy cleaning habits with how nice i am to people. the two don’t decipher each other.
• I miss living easy.
• I want true happiness.

Here’s to me!

So, i don’t know what’s going to happen from here on out, but i’ve realized that- hey, you just can’t make every body happy, so right now shoot for yourself then along the way hopefully you can bring up some one else, and that will be THE ABSOLUTE BEST!!!!

but once someone makes up their mind all you can do is let them realize their mistake and help them out with they fall.

i just hope i can get that little bit of happiness back that i never had.

How Do You Overcome Yourself?

Seriously. I’d like to know.

I think I’m my biggest problem.

How do you just say “FUCK IT”

and live how you want to

despite what other people say.

How do you just ignore it?

Have i got it wrong..?

am i just supposed to change it somehow?

do i…?

I think it’s just because i’ve always had a certain way

of being told who to be

now i don’t

and i’m quiet clueless as to what

to do with myself.

Who am I??

I.?

there’s nothing anyone can even say to that.

right now,

i don’t even have anything to say to that.

whatever i do what i want.

wait..

no, i don’t.

Geeze.

happy thoughts oh where are you?

good things oh where have you gone?

what happened to what i thought was reality?

where have i gone?

it’s like i’ve momentarily checked out mentally

and now i’m running

on pure instincts.

&& there’s not much there.

my world as i look around

is strange and unfamiliar

every time i check back in with myself

it seems that i don’t recognize the girl in the mirror.

she’s always changing.

when i check back in for good, i better have

some dam good stories.

and explanations.

because right now. i don’t have shit.

you should have known. thats all i can think of.

but the message somehow got lost in translation.

the reality did.

oh well. one more day wasted.

emo=state of depression, while still in mind, before crazy.

it’s supposed to be you can control it.

but then it’s supposed to be [life=control]

because then your a control freak[if you do]

it’s all commentary in this game we set ourselves up for.

From zero hero back to zero in .05

This blink in time.

nothing seems to rhyme.

things are in a way, getting there.

but then there’s that

little frustration of waiting for the water to boil

then fuck it, put the noodles in

then throw away the instructions

then, duh, you don’t need em anyways

how many times have you made mac and cheese?

please.

time is getting in the way of boredum

boredom  likewise for time

dont you wish you had some wine

i don’t actually have any friends it feels like

just people saying “we’re here”

ok, your there, doesn’t do any good when nothing happens

people using, me using, boredom still sits untouched

i do a million things in a day to pass time

but at the end of the line

it’s what sits and awaits me.

bleek. meek, seek.

BAH! idk.

I JUST WANT TO DRIVE FOR MILES AND MILES

and get away from here, and stay far away. the farther away the happier i’ll be.

everything boiled down just seems

so…again i don’t know.

[welll actually] it’s not that i don’t know

its that i just don’t want to think about it

i’ll just go finish the cheese mac thats prolly ruined cuz i forgot it

while playing cards. and writing. and drifting off into thought.

peace.

Lean Back

An old song by Fat Joe.

Dancing in a Camper with my old best friend Amanda and out other friends Jake And Sammy. The cute guy outside that i’d been hanging out with, and me trying to impress him. A sunny day in the summer, just messing around. Who doesn’t love those days?

To me that’s what that song will always be despite the fact that i don’t really like the lyrics now that I’ve sat down and listened to them.

That got me into thinking about how people remember things for different reasons. Most people i’ve heard remember things off emotion, and i could see how that works out, when your bored you don’t really remember that as much even though you might have spent more time doing something and being bored than having fun and doing something.

I like how if you talk to different people who were at the same show maybe even friends, doing the exact same thing you’ll get a different view point every time. That’s why i love talking to people.

& I heard once that when you remember something that every time you bring it back up it is different, because of your perception of it at the time, basically the way you think about things affects how you remember something.

ok, there’s the end of that weird and random thought. ‘

things to think about:

a few things:
1. peaches are yummy.
2. you have to be in a pickle[y] kinda mood other wise pickles are grose.
you don’t believe me,next time you open your fridge and while not thinking about pickles [aka NOT thinking: yumm a pickle sounds good right now] try a pickle. not good.
3.tortillas in the microwave get you nowhere. and im not talking about putting them in for actual time. im mean just sitting there. despite common belief, IT DOES NOTHING, NOTHING I TELL YOU.
4.if you have an idea that you really want to get down on paper, and you want to get it down right this second for fear of losing it, you will not be able to find a pen anywhere in your area that works, or any writing utensil for that matter.
5. if you have nothing to do on a friday night[or any other day of the week] message this girl shelley, 99.9 percent of the time she wont either and you guys can chat about nothing in weird ways over the internet.
6.be thank full for indoor heating. [my house is freezing when were out of firewood]